Lesson 4 · The hidden layer

Safety behaviours, the hidden saboteurs

You're at a work event. You've found a corner of the room next to the snacks. You're holding your phone — not really reading it, just holding it. Every time someone walks past you check whether to say hi or pretend to be busy. You pick pretend.

All of those — the corner, the phone, the pretend — are safety behaviours. Small invisible things you do during the situation to feel less exposed. They feel like managing the anxiety. They're actually feeding it.

This lesson is about why, and what to do about it.